Tips for Temporary Orders Hearings

Alex Hunt 0:09

Welcome back to the Texas Family Lawyer Podcast . My name is Alex Hunt . With Hunt Law Firm , we serve the greater Houston area and we have offices in Katy , Sugar Land , Cypress and League City , and I'm joined once again by Margaret Tucker , Senior Associate Attorney at Hunt Law Firm . Thanks for coming back . Thanks for having me All right . We talked last time that you were here about what to expect . What is a temporary orders hearing . Today , we're going to do something a little different talk about 10 do's and 10 don'ts for your temporary orders hearing . So let's jump right in . Let's start with a don't . Don't agree to something that you don't want . For final , Tell me a little bit about that .

Margaret Tucker 0:52

Okay . I have heard over time many , many times that people will say don't worry about it , just agree to it now , and then on final you can change it . I would actually venture to say that's not necessarily the case . I kind of feel like when people agree to things on temporary , you know whether you agree to , you know the primary person for kids , or you know who gets the house or who gets you know a bank account . It's going to kind of stay that way for final trial because the judge is kind of like way for final trial , because the judge is kind of like well , if you made the decision back then and everything seems to be fine , why are we going to change it ? So , unless something is really different , it's going to stay in place for final . So try to pick what you like and don't like and what's important to you at temporary , what you like and don't like and what's important to you at temporary .

Alex Hunt 1:46

So then the do is set yourself up for success at your temporary orders hearing , and that means doing your homework , getting all your ducks in a row , getting your evidence together and listening to your lawyer being part of the process , getting your lawyer what they need , so that way you can present the best case to the court and try to get the relief that you want for final orders at temporary orders , because judges most of the time are not going to want to upset the apple cart . If something seems to be working in temporary orders , they're not going to want to undo it . So set yourself up for success at temporary orders , so that way you're all you're all set for for final orders .

Alex Hunt 2:26

So , uh , the next uh don't is don't have unreasonably high expectations . We never have that in our practice . Tell me a little bit about , um , uh , what we would like to see from clients in that regard .

Margaret Tucker 2:44

You know , I know that this is a very personal thing for everybody . You know this is your life , these are your kids , this is your divorce , this is your family and it's very impassioned and it's very emotional , and so sometimes people want the extremes . I want all the money , I want the kids . 100% of the time the courts aren't going to do it . So if you come in with unreasonable expectations , number one , you're going to be sorely disappointed and number two , you come off that way to the court . And so when you walk in and you ask for something that is completely unreasonable and have no reason for it , the judges don't receive that well and it seems like you're the problem . So even though it may have been your spouse that was a problem or something else was a situation that you know they were the real problem , you come off as the person who has that problem . So be reasonable . Either try to settle at mediation for reasonable expectations or expect in court a reasonable outcome .

Alex Hunt 3:46

Yes , certainly Be reasonable and also be flexible . And you mentioned mediation . It takes two parties to be flexible and reasonable in mediation and most of the time when you get that you can reach an agreement amicably . Now our office , our attorneys , will always be ready to go if we have to go to trial , if we have to go to a temporary orders hearing . But the do here is do be flexible , do be reasonable in your expectations , so the next don't is be unprepared . And so our office , our hallmark , is being prepared . That's a definite do . What are some of the preparations for a temporary orders hearing ? What does that look like ?

Margaret Tucker 4:30

Well , we kind of work backwards . You know , what do you want ? What are you looking for from the court ? Well , if you're looking to be the primary parent of the children or you're looking to take the house for temporary , we work backwards . How are you going to be able to show the court that you should be the primary parent ? Is it going to be through records from the school ? Is it going to be through records from a dentist or a doctor ? How can you show the court that you should be the primary parent ? Or if you want to be awarded the property , how can you afford it ? Should be the primary parent . Or if you want to be awarded the property , how can you afford it ? You're going to need bank statements , you're going to need records . So we always try to get those kind of things ahead of time so that when we go into court we can say we are asking for X and this is how we're showing to you that we deserve to be awarded this .

Alex Hunt 5:20

Okay , Next up . Don't hide the ball in temporary orders . Tell me what we mean there .

Margaret Tucker 5:28

Never let your attorney be surprised . You know we are used to it as attorneys that we do get surprises and we work on being able to handle it . So you know we keep a poker face . But I always tell my clients I would rather know and deal with something . So tell me , tell me things that you've done that they're going to bring up , because if they bring it up then I'm completely prepared how to handle it . You know , if you hide the ball from your own attorney , then the problem is they're going to be caught off guard . So hiding from your own attorney isn't going to help your situation . It probably is going to hurt you .

Alex Hunt 6:06

All right , and so the do is be as open and transparent as possible with your attorney , as you can . That means sharing not only the good parts of your case but the bad parts of your case , and one of the things I ask in consultations or in preliminary meetings with our clients is in consultations or in preliminary meetings with our clients is what do you think the worst thing that the other side will say about you ? Sometimes that brings some interesting answers , because you never know what the other side's going to say , but often it opens an honest dialogue about what some of the deficiencies in our clients' cases , and we need to know that because you could rest sure that the other side is going to bring it out in court and us knowing about it ahead of time is going to be much better than us being completely blindsided and having to react in real time in court . So do be open with your attorney . They're your counsel , they're working with you .

Margaret Tucker 7:06

So be open with them . And I think when people are open about what has been going on , it kind of sets the tone , because then they start to realize , well , there are two sides to every story and there are two people in this . So , ok , I've done a few things , you've done a few things , let's come to a middle agreement . So it makes you recognize also , you know parts of the things that you have done or you know said and it maybe makes you understand where you need to go from there .

Alex Hunt 7:32

So the next don't is don't let your feelings towards your spouse or your co-parent infect your kids and your relationship with your kids . What do we mean there ?

Margaret Tucker 7:43

This is probably one of the most important things that you can ever remember in a divorce case with children period .

Margaret Tucker 7:49

When I have a client come into a consult , I always tell them in a divorce action it's almost like there are two different cases . One is the kid's side , one is the property and the marriage is the property side , and so you may have the worst spouse in the world , but they're a good father or mother and vice versa . So even though they're not the best spouse to you , they're great to your kids , and so you are getting divorced from that person . Remember that at the end of the tunnel you are getting divorced and so , but you do have to work with them for the , you know , for the next 18 plus years , for your children , and that's what your children want too . So they want , you know , two parents and they want to have , you know , loving relationships with both of them . So remember that your kids pick up on a lot . They see a lot more than you know , even we know , and so to remember that the best interest of your children should be the forefront of a case .

Alex Hunt 8:50

And so do differentiate between your spouse or your co -parent as a co-parent and their role as your partner . And I'll tell you , if you're in a temporary orders hearing and you don't differentiate those roles , not only is it bad for your kids , it's bad for you , but the court sees it too and they can see that . You know you don't want to let whatever feelings you have towards that person , which they are what they are . You're not going to be able to lose those feelings , but there's no reason that that needs to then infect the relationship with the kids . So do work hard at differentiating those two roles that each of us has as a parent .

Margaret Tucker 9:34

And you may be mad at something that your spouse did . But If you go on the stand and you're bitter and angry , the court is going to get the feeling that you're not going to be working with your spouse as a co-parent . So it actually may turn around and bite you for acting that way or portraying that to the judge , because , again , you only get a very limited amount of time to tell the judge everything . So you have to be careful in how you portray yourself . You know if you have a lot of anger towards your spouse or that kind of thing . So you have to put in the forefront of your mind your children .

Alex Hunt 10:09

So , in that same vein , don't refuse to negotiate before your temporary orders hearing . Do go to mediation , engage in informal negotiations . Why is that so valuable , and tell us a little bit about the form that that might take before a temporary orders hearing .

Margaret Tucker 10:29

Okay , so , in order to have a temporary orders hearing , the courts make us mediate , which is a good thing . It is very good to mediate because the power is in your hands . You're going to be in a room by yourself or with your attorney , and you know your spouse is going to be in a room with his attorney or by himself , and the mediator kind of walks back and forth and offers are sent back and forth . This is your time to try to get what you want . You know you can think outside the box . You know , actually ask for things that might not be given in court . And this is your moment . You are empowered , on your own case , to ask for things and to try to get some things that you want that are important to you .

Margaret Tucker 11:10

So the thing is again , you're going to get divorced from your spouse . So if your bitterness and your anger is going to come in to cloud your judgment on a mediation and you know you're talking about your children it's going to cloud how youiation and you know you're talking about your children . It's going to cloud how you think about you know the best interest of your children . So put them in the forefront and negotiate based on what you think is best for your children .

Alex Hunt 11:34

All right . The next don't is let your agitation show , and I know you had a recent case where we saw a litigant in court was really letting his agitation show and it did not benefit him at all . And so what we do want our clients to do is to really be respectful . Respect the process , respect the parties , respect the court . What should the demeanor of a litigant , a client in court , what should their approach be ?

Margaret Tucker 12:07

To remember that you respect the bench . The court is there . They have earned this position that they fill . They are trying to do a job and their job is to make a

Tips for Successful Court Hearings

Margaret Tucker 12:19

judgment . In this case , they don't know you , they don't know your spouse , they don't know your kids , they don't know your job . They don't know anything about you . So when you walk into a court and you maybe have an hour or two to present your case , you know your world is huge , but you're only going to get an hour or two to present it to the court . So , to be respectful of them and to talk to them , you're not trying to prove a point to your spouse , you're not trying to prove a point to the opposing counsel . You're trying to tell the judge what you want . You're talking to the court . Respect them . They've earned it and they're going to make a decision for you . So respect them . I think when courts are shown respect and you know they see a better side of you . They see you who you are and hopefully that comes out in your favor .

Alex Hunt 13:11

And I'll tell you that there's never been an instance where I've had a client or there's an opposing party that has been disrespectful or has been agitated or rolling their eyes or making noises where I thought in hindsight , man , that was a good decision . I mean , it is universally a bad choice because the judges see it , and then it isn't just that they want to punish you or something , but they think , if this solemn process , if this is the way you're acting here , I can only imagine what you're like with the co-parent or your spouse or the kids . So be as respectful as possible , I think , is good advice all around . Next , don't overcomplicate the case , and there's a practical reason for that . It's that we don't usually in temporary orders , hearings , at least in the Houston area , get very much time . I know it's like that in other jurisdictions in Texas as well . What do we mean by not overcomplicating the case and how could we keep it more streamlined , which is our ? Do ? Keep it streamlined , keep it simple .

Margaret Tucker 14:16

The main point about a temporary orders hearing is to hold the case . The judge really doesn't know much about the case yet doesn't know much about the party . So the judge really just wants to hold things status quo , make sure kids and property are taken care of , and we get a very limited time to tell the judges what we're asking for , what we're looking for . So if you walk in and you have this list of demands that is way off from the norm , the judge is going to be confused . They're really not going to be happy with you and you know they don't know what you're asking for . So then it gets very complicated and sometimes it clouds what you're trying to say and it's in a short time that you're asking for it .

Margaret Tucker 15:02

So sometimes overcomplicating it really backfires . You know the courts want to go down the streamline . They want to do a standard possession order . That's the main thing they're going to do . So you have to prove to them why they need to go off of the norm and that takes time and that takes clarity . So you need to prioritize and not be having too many asks that are off the norm .

Alex Hunt 15:28

So what are some things that you know we do in our practice to keep things streamlined , keep them as simple as possible for the court in terms of documentation , providing the court document . What do we do ? What can we do to keep it more streamlined , keep it simple .

Margaret Tucker 15:45

A lot of what we do in a temporary reverse hearing is we do kind of the summary of relief requested , where we file a document that says this is what we want and if we are asking for something that is different from the norm , we put it in there .

Margaret Tucker 16:03

Maybe we have a parent who hasn't seen a child for a while and they need reunification therapy . So at that point in time , you know , I usually try to meet with the therapist beforehand , try to get it cleared up Are they going to accept insurance ? Are they going to , you know , be able to start seeing the child and the parent ? You know , we try to clear things up beforehand so that when we present it to the court and say we're , you know , going to ask you something different here's what it is and why I'm asking . And if you grant this to me , it's all you know , already been taken care of , it's already set , we're ready to go on it so that we're moving forward . Judge , we're not trying to stall . Here's the evidence of why we need what we need and why we're asking for it .

Alex Hunt 16:49

Okay . So the next don't is don't go in uninformed and unprepared to court . What do we want to see from our clients ?

Margaret Tucker 16:58

I think it's very important when you go into the temporary orders mediation and the temporary orders hearing . If you don't settle at mediation to understand what the court is going to do . The court is going to do the norm , that is , grant a standard possession order , or you know they're not going to do much with the property until later , those kind of things . So if you are expecting something that is outside of the norm , understand that the court's not going to do a lot of things without extra evidence . So you know you've got to understand what is your best day and what is your worst day .

Margaret Tucker 17:36

When I go into mediation I always prep my clients on what is the best day in court , what is the worst day in court . And there is some middle ground because sometimes you just don't know what a judge will do . So if the judge in judges and family law have very have a lot of discretion , judges and family law have a lot of discretion . They can choose to do things that they want to do . So sometimes you won't even know if a judge can or can't do it or will or won't do it . But there are things that an attorney can tell you . This is what you should expect . This is your worst day , this is your best day , and when you're making a settlement or you're walking into court that day , you need to keep both of those in mind . So it sets your expectations and when you're at mediation , you know if you're going to hold out , not settle at mediation for something that is , you know , unreasonable , you're not going to get it in court .

Alex Hunt 18:36

We've certainly had a lot of . You know , we always have those conversations with our clients so that they are informed and they are prepared , and they are prepared . But we've seen particularly other opposing parties , other litigants that will walk into court and think that a court can do something that a court just can't do , because a court has to be authorized by the law to do it . And there is a difference , you mentioned , between what a court can and can't do and what a court can but won't do and that's why it's particularly important to have somebody who is experienced in the local courts .

Alex Hunt 19:12

Harris County we've got 10 presiding judges , 10 associate judges . We've got a domestic protective order court , fort Bend County three presiding judges , three associate judges . Waller County two judges . You have to know each one of those courts , know what those courts will and won't do , what their preferences are . That knowledge is incredibly valuable , especially when you know often you just have about an hour to present your case at a temporary orders hearing .

Alex Hunt 19:43

So going in prepared , going in informed not just the lawyer but the client too , it's going to help make sure that our expectations are reasonable and they're set and that we're going to have a successful day in court . So the last don't is a lot of our clients are , you know , they want to try to keep things peaceful , they want to maintain that co-parenting relationship or relationship that they have with their partner , and they will often withhold certain facts . They don't paint the full picture . They do that to keep the peace or they do that just to be nice and oftentimes after court they say , yeah , man , I have regret . I wish that I did say that and I should have said that . What do you want to see from your clients in a temporary orders hearing in terms of painting that picture domestic violence within your house .

Margaret Tucker 20:48

you need to let your attorney know because it needs to be brought up soon , Because if you go through a temporary orders hearing and don't say anything and the judge rules against you and maybe gives the primary to the other parent , it's too late after the temporary orders hearing to bring up domestic violence . The judge is going to think you only bringing it up because something happened that was not in your favor .

Alex Hunt 21:07

Yeah , why are you just bringing this up now ?

Margaret Tucker 21:09

Right . So it's very important to tell your attorney and to prioritize , what are the most important facts and the most important things about your household or your kids or your spouse that need to be brought up in that one hour hearing . And so you know this is your moment in time to tell the judge your story . Everybody wants their story to be told and sadly there are so many cases the judges can't be there all day or you know , six weeks for each person , each party , and so we have to go fast in doing it . So we need to prioritize , know what's very important and make sure to tell your story in full and you know it's not always positive and it's not always heartwarming , but it needs to be told and the judge needs to know and your attorney needs to know . So , to be open , to be honest and , you know , set your priorities and make sure it's heard .

Temporary Orders Hearings in Family Law

Alex Hunt 22:08

Well , I think you said that perfectly . And when you take out the exhibits and the evidence and the objections and the legalese , really all that a temporary orders hearing is is an opportunity to tell the judge who is just a person your story and help them make a decision about what's going to be best for your family and for your children . So being as open , as honest as possible , being upfront , is always the best policy . Margaret , thank you so much for joining and chatting with me about temporary orders , some do's and don'ts . If anybody has more questions about temporary orders hearings , divorce process , child custody process or any of the services that Hunt Law Firm provides , you can visit familylawyerkatiecom and we'll see you next time .